I’ve always been passionate about mental health and have wanted to talk about OCD for a long time, but havent known what exactly to share. But last night, I felt convicted to speak up about it. I already shared a little bit on instagram about my struggles with OCD and the way that hollywood portrays it. For so long, I denied any diagnosis of this for my life. I didn’t believe that I fit the category because I wasn’t ever necessarily tidy and organized. But after years of dealing with anxiety and depression, I decided to seek help. That’s where I learned what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder actually was.
So yes, I have OCD. It looks different for all kinds of people, but for me, it looked like years of avoiding driving down certain roads, years of beating myself up until I “confessed” what I did that was maybe not good, and years of panic attacks and intense depression that controlled my thoughts daily. OCD takes many different shapes and forms, not just the cute little things like color coding your pens or staying tidy all the time.
I am usually not the one to speak up and point fingers at others, but for the sake of others who might be struggling with these things and afraid to talk to someone about it because they might seem crazy, I think it’s time we talk about it.
We need to stop making light of mental illness. The more we keep casually dropping these terms, the longer people will suffer without seeking help. OCD is not what you think. Please stop using this term if you have not been diagnosed with it. It hurts those who actually struggle with it and pushes them deeper into the feeling of being alone. I would know because that is what I struggled with for so long.
In sharing all of this, my greatest hope is for those who struggle, like me, to seek the help they need. Mental illness is real; you are not crazy because you get thoughts stuck in your head that cause you to have compulsions. A few years ago, I decided to ask for help in fear of myself. That was one of the best things I have done in my life. If you are struggling with obsessive thoughts, panic attacks, depression, or anything else - reach out to someone. Find a counselor, talk to a loved one about it, call a hotline, go to a doctor. You are NOT alone. And if you're scared of how someone might respond, like dismissing you or making light of your struggles, I am always always always here to talk to. I’ve gone through it. There isn't anything you could say that would scare me, I just want to be a safe place for you.
This got a lot longer than I meant for it to, but it needed to be talked about. I say all of this in love for you. Lets stop throwing out mental illnesses lightly. We can do better. We can love on our people suffering from these better.